The truth is, many times… it is not as easy as it seems. 

But one thing that i have learnt, and am convicted about over this period in my life is that no matter how hard, no matter how difficult it seems, never ever walk away from God, never ever stop doing what you are doing. You just got to keep walking, keep holding on, keep believing, and one day you will reach the other side. You will. 

Persistence overcomes resistance. 

When life is on a high, naturally it is easy to praise and thank God. But have you thought about the times when your life gets to the bottom low. Will you still praise and thank God when you are walking in the valley of dry bones? 

I purposed in my heart, no matter good or bad, my mouth shall praise the Lord daily. My heart shall be filled with thanksgiving always, for everything. From me and my generation onwards, it shall be different. 

I will live a life of victory! Jesus has conquered the grave, so will I! 

“When there is a test, then there will be testimony.
When there is mess, then there will be a message.” 
- Pastor How

Really thankful to be at nowhere else, but heart of God church. Over these few years, yeah time really flies, how much have I grown… so grateful so grateful. Regretful for those times when I didn’t appreciate how blessed I actually was. But really thankful for the discipleships received, thankful for all the love and care, the relationships built. 

One thing that I ask… to dwell in Your house forever and ever. 
Never will I want to leave Your presence ever again, Lord.

I’m sorry for the things that I’ve made it.
I’m coming back to the heart of worship, coming back to the First love with You.
Falling in love with You all over again…

Lord, You’re more than anything
You’re more than gold
More than anything

Lord, You’re everything to me
I will never let You go
Never let You go

Your love is higher, higher than the heavens
Your mercies deeper, deeper than the earth
Your grace is wider, wider than the oceans

I will never let You go
never let You go….  

Somehow, I feel I’m closest to God at this time of the day, or in the wee hours. These are the best times where I feel I can just plunged myself into the presence of God. How I long, these times will never cease…. Forget the cares of this world, forget about the deceitfulness and everything else. How I wish sometimes, my flesh can not be so weak.

God, just You & me. Such a longing.. I want more and more of You. Use me, Lord. My heart just feel so burdened suddenly. For my mother, and so many people. The recent passing of many people had been an awakening call. It feels like an urge from God to go and get more lives saved. I can’t wait i can’t wait i can’t wait.. for all these salvations to come to pass. 

I want to eat of God’s word and grow grow grow. Yesterday while I was serving on Childrens’ Church, I felt something in me broke and let loose. Something was released from me but I don’t know what. There was a new strength, a new joy, a new motivation. It felt good. 

Watching Pastor Lia share on video this morning simply blown me away in tears. These words that Pastor Lia said etched in my mind and I just couldn’t get them off my mind. “Feelings come and go. I serve God not just with my feelings but I serve God with my character and commitment.” Those words blown me away…. Something that will become part of me for the rest of my life.

As for me, I will serve and love God not just with my feelings, but with my character and commitment. 

Don’t ever teach in a tuition centre. 

Heal my heart and make it clean 
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You
Have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks Yours
everything I am for Your kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Thinking about things… Wondering about things…
Sometimes they just get so complicated and frustrated.

Tired of asking why. Sometimes, somethings are better not known than known I guess. Doesn’t help by knowing more perhaps? But the clause here is ‘sometimes’…

Suddenly miss Christmas so much… It’s my favourite!
There’s no way that I can explain why I love Christmas so much. Of course, the biggest reason is that Jesus was born on that special day, the joy to the world :) But thinking of Christmas just makes me feel happy, emotional, filled. Reminds me of the caroling-s i did together with Amadeus in 08 - was so fun! Reminds me of the warm and fuzzy feeling. Reminds me of the love of Christ, the love of those who were there, then. How nice :) 

When things get difficult, sometimes you just gotta look back at why you first held on to it, isn’t? From there, you’ll find some strength to carry on again..

Thoughts thoughts thoughts… 
How powerful you can be eh. 

Tired. Brain feels so drained today.
Time to rest. 

Just randomly took out some old letters and cards given to me in the past and started reading… 

Hahaha, the feeling of reading was really quite funny, amusing, touching, warm, fuzzy…inexplicable. 

But as I flip through and am thankful of the great people I have in my life, I see an even greater reason and purpose in the cards that I make, the letters and notes that I write. They just meant so much when u take them out again in 2 years time, 5 years time, remembering that there was that someone who cared for & loved you. 

I won’t stop diy-ing hand-made cards, even when life gets busier, when shops are selling ever prettier and fancier ones everywhere. Those just can’t replace the value and love hand-made cards bring, especially when things are going so digital and technological-ised. 

That special touch that nothing in this multimedia age can replace, seems unimportant but actually means alot… 

主耶和華，你已經鑒察了我。
我坐下，我起來，你都已曉得。
我行路，我躺臥，你都細察，你也深知我一切所行。
我舌頭上的話，你沒有一句不知道。
你在我前後環繞著我，按手在我身上。
這樣的奇妙，是我不能測透，
你的至高你的尊貴，是我永遠不能所及。
我可以往哪裡去躲避你的靈？
我可以往哪裡去逃、可躲避你的面？
我若展開清晨的翅膀飛到地極，就在那裡，
你的雙手也必引導我。

引用诗篇139

何等的怜悯慈爱，感谢您天父。让我的所行都能张显你的大能…

3:36AM 

Preparing my lesson for tomorrow’s econs scp for the J2s…
But i’m very distracted!! 
Haven’t taught for the past 1 month, I hope my brain don’t freeze tmr when they ask me qns.

Can i not go tmr? :(